It’s Wednesday June 4th 2014.
I don’t know the last time I posted a blog and to be quite frank, I feel in no place to be posting one today. I’m not sure I am even in a place to be writing one. But I will try not to over analyze this and just do what I came here to do; share an update on the ongoing #clarkeadventure.

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There haven’t been many words to describe how I’m feeling these days, and I imagine that’s a good thing. For those of you who follow me on Instagram, there have obviously been plenty of picture sharing and I kind of apologize for that.
I’m sure there are many thinking ‘get a life girlfriend’ and while you’d partially be right for putting that on me, you’d also be mostly wrong.

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I have been feeling so much overwhelming gratitude for every day and every moment and as an overflow of that gratitude I seem to want to capture all the moments and shove them my pocket. Is that even possible?

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So, about that update.
Nick and I have mostly packed up our apartment in Missoula. We are currently residing in my in laws 500 square foot cabin with some of our most precious belongs in the shed next door. Nick had his first day at work on Monday and is embracing his 8 to 5 with some quick morning huffs and puffs and evening dances to shake out all his excess desk energy. I’m adjusting to the feelings of waiting on him to come home; something I haven’t ever had to do in our relationship. Speaking of our relationship, we are celebrating 2 years of married life next Tuesday. Someone want to tell me how that happened?
(Insert first date photo November 2009,  & precious wedding moment, June 2012)

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On Friday, with our t’s crossed and I’s dotted, we will be closing on our first home. Winnie.

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She is a beaut, and I love her already. This whole process has been complex, stressful, with a side of sweat, laughter, and tears. And it’s just the beginning. We will be moving into Winnie, if all goes according to plan the 30th of June. Nick has been a complete rock star. They don’t call him Reality Specialist for nothing. Man, that boy knows how to do work.

I’ll be back in Missoula with the movers while Nick stays put in Helena. I still have our kitchen and bathrooms to pack, plus a whole lot of other small things, so I will be riding solo wrapping it all up. In the meantime, I have been searching out a design job here in Helena. If I thought Missoula was a small and tricky market, Helena may have it beat. My head is up and my hopes are high, but let’s be real, its week one.

Also, it should be noted that Helena’s Target is like walking back in time 10 years. It about killed my soul being that Target is just a little sliver of joy for me in our broke marital years. Come visit and you will see.

This Friday, my in laws will also be arriving at the cabin and will be here with us for 3 weekends. OR maybe I should say us with them, since it is their cabin. It’s going to be tight and cozy, but my gratitude continues to over flow, feeling blessed to be sharing in our celebrations with our loved ones, not to mention my father in laws handy man skills with Winnie. Some days I have to pinch myself with how wonderful my in laws are. Truth.

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Stepping aside from all the gratitude and excitement I must say this journey is not for the faint at heart. My anxiety has been up and down being in new place, searching out a new job,  not to mention the load of responsibilities that just got shoved on our backs – hey, home ownership! I never did provide much of an update on that after this blog. But I will say the load has gotten lighter. I have had some incredibly fresh perspectives brought into my life, including a wonderful client who truly touched my heart and shed much love on the struggle of anxiety in our society, as well as the daily realization that we are all human, and we are all in this together. Another major turning point for me was the notion that I wanted others to feel safe and comfortable around me, and being an individual who is incredibly sensitive to the energy of others, I wanted to be sure my spirit was speaking love, kindness, and understanding. Obviously that could be a whole other blog topic so I’ll end it for now.

Thank you for all your love, thoughts, prayers, and ‘likes’ as Nick and I continue to share this journey with you, sometimes in pieces and tid bits.

Much love.

KC

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Retail, Saturday.
#keepingmyselfinspired

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There are some things in life that we shouldn’t talk about.
Irrational, un-understood, self inflicted, anxiety.
. . . this might be one of those – things.  

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